I’m usually not a blamer.
But today all I want is to point fingers at everything and everyone for my suffering.
And especially at the holiday that just ended yesterday…
And the carefree children who won’t go to sleep at night…
The house that’s too small to contain all the kids AND their 7 sets of rain-boots…
My ever-growing, now-homeless pile of reference books after I took them off the shelves to make more room for my children’s winter clothes…
The kid who’s home from school too early today, eating into my quiet morning…
The video that I was looking forward to posting that came out so dark we couldn’t bring ourselves to challenge you with…
So blame my kids for that, too.
Gevalt, UpsideDown Parenting isn’t just a website, it’s my very own daily life.
If I didn’t have my children there would be no website.
And because I have my children there is no video on the website this week.
As I rant I clearly see that my vlog is there to serve me no less than it’s there to make a difference to you
and right now I CAN deal with my own tantrum in dignity.
I remember that my tantrums and frustrations are not me;
That the same reasons that make mothers my heroes make me a hero, too. Even as I blame my kids for all of my troubles and afflictions.
I start singing “I will survive” and with the words comes the realization that I AM surviving.
I survive, therefore I thrive.
It’s a truth that reveals itself every time I fall.
I laugh as the words “mindful mother” come to mind. Mindfulness—a sure recipe for suffering greatly :-).
Then again, I also DARE greatly and put myself in that boxing ring where it feels sometimes like my seven darlings punch me in the face every. single. day.
I get curious about this current—somewhat elusive—challenge, this darkness (literally, if you consider the video) that the Chanukah lights managed to keep at bay.
I tell myself what I tell you every time we get together:
this is surely a custom-made opportunity to figure myself out and re-align with my values.
Hopefully, I will stand straight when this holiday vacation crisis is over (some Emotional Tapping might help too).
Two weeks from now, when you see me in your inbox, I’ll be picture-perfect.
On your monitor, that is.
Yours in tragic humor,