Ever heard of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk?
It was one of the treasures I came across as a teenager, when I discovered the psychology/self help shelf at the bookstore one day on the way back home from school.
It was the late 80s, and Hebrew literature in this field was almost non-existent. While in America every other person had a shrink, the idea of going to therapy was frowned upon by Israeli society which was still somewhat busy toughening itself only a few decades after the Holocaust.
But I was in love; absolutely fascinated with the world that these books opened up for me. I had no choice but to summon up my then long-forgotten American English… and How to Talk, with its adorable comics and familiar scenarios, sucked me right in.
And the book provided me with the words that my own fragile 16 year old self needed so desperately to hear. It taught me what to say to myself that saved me from believing the criticism I heard from the adults around me and from getting lost in self judgment.
We all want to be validated, appreciated, trusted, forgiven, and embraced as we are, and this book tells us exactly how to express these values in words to our children.
Here are some of the things Shoshana and I discuss in this conversation:
*What is the ultimate goal of parenting?
*Why is this book a great read even when you’re tired and overwhelmed?
*Understanding your own anger and expressing it in a way that isn’t hurtful.
*How to hear your child out while not compromising your authority.
*Tips for setting a new tone in your home, starting today.
Send the link to your friends—they will thank you.
Thank you for being with me today,
And make yourself a beautiful day,
P.S. I conducted this interview with Shoshana in 2013, as you will hear in the video. UP was still just a dream, but I just knew that the first interview I put up HAD to be about How to Talk. And just like the book itself, the interview is as relevant and interesting as it was back then.
And I look younger. 🙂
*About Shoshana Hayman:
Shoshana is the founder and director of Life Center, Center for Attachment Parenting in Israel. She is a faculty member of the Neufeld Institute and serves as Regional Director in Israel for the Institute. Shoshana’s 35 years of experience in the United States, Canada and Israel including childbirth education, counseling parents and teachers, and facilitating workshops. She had made Faber\Mazlish’s books into a household name in Israel. The foundation of Shoshana’s work is the Neufeld Paradigm and its application. Her training and ongoing learning with Dr. Gordon Neufeld continues to guide the direction of her work. Her passion and commitment to parents and children lead her to seek and train professionals who have a strong desire to help parents understand what children truly need to realize their full human potential. Shoshana has six children and eighteen grandchildren. Her family continues to be her greatest source of joy, fulfillment and insight into how children can grow up to be fulfilled, responsible and caring individuals.