My Vintage ‘Secret’ For Letting Go Of Your Children
Have you noticed this popular line people use on interviews, memoirs, and blog posts to describe their upbringing? If they’re the lucky ones, it’s
“My parents were always there for me”.
Now, especially if these writes were born before, say, 1992, you should take what they say with a grain of salt.
Not that I doubt that if they said so, their mother indeed made herself available as much as she could. And I’m aware, of course, that these words are about the constant reassurance and support parents give their children, which is absolutely beautiful and desirable.
But there were times Mother wasn’t “there”. She was at work, or shopping at the market, or going to the doctor, or just hanging out with a friend.
…and she didn’t bring her Smartphone with her.
Because, duh!, for the longest time, they’d existed only in Epcot
Gosh, how I loved the eighties!
When my parents couldn’t—even if they really wanted—be there to help me, guide me (i.e. tell me what to do), cry with me, or laugh with me;
When I had to wait to tell them about my daily adventures
(and so did they);
When they couldn’t message me to come back home immediately and complete my chores as I’d promised.
And I will never forget how my parents’ good friend got one more hour of sanity when her son died in a terrible car accident. She was attending the final session of a workshop she’d sign up for, and couldn’t be reached.
Minutes, hours, and sometimes even weeks of separation were inevitable.
The reality of the world forced patience, trusting and letting go. (All these things that mothers like you and me will value forever.)
Which is why I don’t believe anyone of my generation who says “my parents were always there for me”, and I feel for those whose parents have always been a click away…
Our cell phones make a statement to our children:
I’m always available, and be sure to text me if I don’t answer!
Here’s how to utilize them for making the equally important message:
I trust you. You’ll be fine. See you later!
Enjoy this episode–
And if you find it meaningful, thought-provoking or helpful to you, share it with a friend or two.
Blessings for a gezunter (healthy), joyful winter,
